The Kiss.
Obnoxious lips kept staring at me. They were overly aware of their impulsiveness, waiting to pounce on my skin, attach themselves like a black hole to matter. ‘Suck me in’, I want to breathe out, but I know that the moment would only fall short. I know that she’ll just as quickly pull away as I would quickly pull forward. She’s a tease, it’s in her eyes. Playful yet seductive, she’s knowing, every flicker of tongue and every bat of eyelash planned like a carefully laid trap. Her fingers tucked underneath my belt as she pulled me to her, I couldn’t contain my lust, my heart was on the floor from escaping my chest in its obsessive beating. I grabbed her tightly by the waist, so tightly so she couldn’t escape. Her lips pouted, she whispered ‘no’. Not yet. She wouldn’t let me divulge, yet. I let my grip loose, stroked her back, caressing her spine with every digit on my fingers, occasionally pushing ever so hard on her muscles, unknotting every ounce of stress she had built, letting her knees unbuckle, just had mine had as soon as she caught my eyes. I hadn’t found the words to say to her, they had to be the right words, words that would capture her soul as soon as she heard them. Words I held on the tip of my tongue, the same tongue that I wanted to share a dance with hers. My fingers worked up her waist, brushing her breasts, teasing the possibility of more but never letting her feel I was too eager. I formed a palm and clenched her hair, pulled it to the back of her neck. I pressed my forehead against hers, letting our lips introduce, they weren’t meant to meet now, soon, just not this moment. The moment had to feel right for her.
She was her own moment, she was creating it in front of me, she was someone I had almost vanished waiting for, someone to give the kiss. A perfect kiss, the one want isn’t followed from puppetry, from predicted movements, tricks from past partners, lines learned from mistaken encounters. It was original, waiting, patience and pending. She was mine, those lips were there for my own.
I lifted my hand of her hair and brushed them across her lips, slowly raising them down to her hands, we clenched, our fingers tightening around each others, her nails digging into my skin, scratching away the impurities of all my errors of love with one stroke of her nails. I couldn’t take my stare off her eyes, she pulled me in and pushed me away every time I glanced. I dared not to count my blessings just yet, I wanted to feel brave, but in her clutches I had felt lucky enough. I felt as though I had reached my peak, yet there was further to climb, a summit waiting its first discovery by a lone traveller. I wondered if I could stare much longer, then I just repeated ‘forever’ over and over, waiting for her next strategic move.
Her lips, her rose lips climbed to me. I felt her breath has her mouth slowly opened, leaving an opening, welcoming my very own to hers. I wanted to say something perfect to her, to show her how much I wanted her, but I left the monologue for the actions of a silent movie. All what was heard was the rhythmic beating of our lips, the silence of our tongues greeting flavours sweet and delicate. It may have been all a hallucination but I swore I heard her purr, welcoming me to her. Calling me to get closer, to smell every essence she had to offer, telling me to grab her tighter, to hold her firm. My hands explored further, knowing my chance to get closer was now. She raised her hands to my chest and tensed, pushed me away, looking longingly straight through my eyes, deep past my own sight. She was looking straight into me, she knew, only she would know that if I went further I’d lose interest. If only I wasn’t so primitive a man, so shallow a soul, she would already be my queen, my maiden, my mermaid raised from the depths of the sea. I felt myself lose a part of me, I must have looked guilty for every bead of sweat was burning my back, knowing I should have restrained myself. She had pulled away, and I could only think of my words, the words I’d been perfecting. To someway articulate my way around her, to say just the right words, words that would win her lust and her passion, her love. Such a stranger I would not confess my love, but surely it was love I was immersed in, but knowing just how clearly she had seen me, and how easily she had read me I simply spoke my earnest thoughts, ‘I’m sorry. I’m not usually so forward’. Though earnest, they were full of deceit, I lied to a girl of perfection, my utter desire. Someone I wanted to pull into and devour body and soul, take behind closed doors and let a story be told to the night. She grabbed me, I wasn’t expecting her to fall for my plea so easily, she stopped mid-kiss to speak ‘you’re a liar’, and she carried on kissing, my guilt waved, my mind stopped thinking. Her words let me loose to the moment, no longer was I lost in her eyes but in her hands, in her kisses, in her smell. She took me into an eternity in that kiss. And a kiss was all that became of it. She never saw me again, and I can’t help but think she may have if it weren’t for my lie, for my lack of conviction, but it was a kiss that implanted itself on my consciousness, a kiss of time.
She was her own moment, she was creating it in front of me, she was someone I had almost vanished waiting for, someone to give the kiss. A perfect kiss, the one want isn’t followed from puppetry, from predicted movements, tricks from past partners, lines learned from mistaken encounters. It was original, waiting, patience and pending. She was mine, those lips were there for my own.
I lifted my hand of her hair and brushed them across her lips, slowly raising them down to her hands, we clenched, our fingers tightening around each others, her nails digging into my skin, scratching away the impurities of all my errors of love with one stroke of her nails. I couldn’t take my stare off her eyes, she pulled me in and pushed me away every time I glanced. I dared not to count my blessings just yet, I wanted to feel brave, but in her clutches I had felt lucky enough. I felt as though I had reached my peak, yet there was further to climb, a summit waiting its first discovery by a lone traveller. I wondered if I could stare much longer, then I just repeated ‘forever’ over and over, waiting for her next strategic move.
Her lips, her rose lips climbed to me. I felt her breath has her mouth slowly opened, leaving an opening, welcoming my very own to hers. I wanted to say something perfect to her, to show her how much I wanted her, but I left the monologue for the actions of a silent movie. All what was heard was the rhythmic beating of our lips, the silence of our tongues greeting flavours sweet and delicate. It may have been all a hallucination but I swore I heard her purr, welcoming me to her. Calling me to get closer, to smell every essence she had to offer, telling me to grab her tighter, to hold her firm. My hands explored further, knowing my chance to get closer was now. She raised her hands to my chest and tensed, pushed me away, looking longingly straight through my eyes, deep past my own sight. She was looking straight into me, she knew, only she would know that if I went further I’d lose interest. If only I wasn’t so primitive a man, so shallow a soul, she would already be my queen, my maiden, my mermaid raised from the depths of the sea. I felt myself lose a part of me, I must have looked guilty for every bead of sweat was burning my back, knowing I should have restrained myself. She had pulled away, and I could only think of my words, the words I’d been perfecting. To someway articulate my way around her, to say just the right words, words that would win her lust and her passion, her love. Such a stranger I would not confess my love, but surely it was love I was immersed in, but knowing just how clearly she had seen me, and how easily she had read me I simply spoke my earnest thoughts, ‘I’m sorry. I’m not usually so forward’. Though earnest, they were full of deceit, I lied to a girl of perfection, my utter desire. Someone I wanted to pull into and devour body and soul, take behind closed doors and let a story be told to the night. She grabbed me, I wasn’t expecting her to fall for my plea so easily, she stopped mid-kiss to speak ‘you’re a liar’, and she carried on kissing, my guilt waved, my mind stopped thinking. Her words let me loose to the moment, no longer was I lost in her eyes but in her hands, in her kisses, in her smell. She took me into an eternity in that kiss. And a kiss was all that became of it. She never saw me again, and I can’t help but think she may have if it weren’t for my lie, for my lack of conviction, but it was a kiss that implanted itself on my consciousness, a kiss of time.
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