Summer's Thin
The weather weren’t nice that day. I remember it like it were yesterday, it was the sort of weather you’d expect if were in a rainforest, somewhere foreign. Like those books you read where people’s homes are destroyed by all the water. I had to walk through it too. The rain hit up off the ground into my face like it missed its target on the way down. I only remember the rain so damn well because I saw that girl. Abandoned probably, an unwanted baby left to live out on the streets like so many other helpless sorry sacks. I felt for that kid. She looked like a rat, no girl that young should be left as a rat, not before they had a chance to live. But that was just that. I would’ve helped her, but I wasn’t a Samaritan, and I had a job to go do.
So in another room with another girl, this one older, but I wouldn’t say that much older than the one on the street. Summer. I reluctantly stole a kiss. Her hair smelt caught between my lips as she pushed herself against me, I wanted to push away but I found that I couldn’t escape her embrace. She had just confessed that she loved me. Dames always love me. I don’t ask for their attention they just give it to me. What can I say I just attract the wrong kind of adoration, the kind what usually comes with a catch. There I was, getting a package for the romantic knowing the sender would soon tell me the catch.
“I need you to off Jimmy, Rex. He’s been bothering me. You’ll do it for little old me won’t you babe? I know you have it in you”.
There it was. I knew there was a catch. There’s always a catch with the slim blondes. I was hoping this time would be different. I should have known better.
“Toots, you know that I don’t ‘off’ anyone. If you need to off someone go get Jonny Hammer Fist, hell, even Kev the Killer would do it for you and it wouldn’t ask for dimes, just a ride back and maybe a suck he’ll off ten men”.
Her hands moved towards my waist. I was almost certain that she would push me onto the bed. I could do nothing but take a breath, inhaling deep as I waited for her reply.
“I’m not that kind of girl, and you know that they’ll trace it back to me if I went with anyone they know, if they find out it was me the boys will be all over the motel. You don’t want that do you Rexy baby? All those big strong boys after me and the girls? He’s been harassing me Rex, harassing Cindy, Silver and Alicia too...”
That was it. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t have the balls to tell her I wasn’t a killer, and I didn’t have the heart to turn a face that pretty down. All those girls didn’t need have so much attention, if it were up to me, which it ain’t, I’d make it so it was the girls who decided where the attention went- not the pigs who slobber and drool over any broad what has her tits on show- but that’s just me.
I went back out into that rain. The rat girl had gone and I had blood ready to be poured on my hands, not that I was worrying. I knew it was only a matter of waiting until it was on, I’d already signed the verbal contract, and it ain’t something I back out off easy. I thought what I could do. If I could get the boys to stop being jerks to the dames then maybe I don’t need to plunge in any daggers. I’d already spilt too much blood, and I’m one of the good guys.
I entered a warehouse. I walked in and the whole place gave me the chills. Felt like it was dying, like the whole place was just ready to sigh and give up on itself. If I hadn’t business I’d have left the place in its own sorrows. Perched on a overpass was Gin, giving the name for his love of gin, and his bastard actions while on it. He wasn’t a handsome man, scarred by bar fights and the countless times he’d fall over after drinking his own body weight in booze, I’d lost count how many times I had to stop myself starring. He was one ugly fuck.
“What you here for, Rex? We don’t like your type and you don’t like ours. What you come here for ya schmuck?”
“That language ain’t fitting for who you’re talking to Gin and you knows it. Why don’t you come down and we can talk like men”.
“You make it sound like we got some humanity left Rexy boy. I’m alright where I am, why don’t you go and tell me what you want. I know you ain’t that bothered about getting close”.
It wasn’t falling for it, must have caught him on a sober day- I didn’t even know he had sober days. It might just be his tolerance raising, I didn’t care enough to think about it longer than that.
“Sure, sure. Why am I getting strangers telling me that you guys have been harassing chicks? Now, Gin, I couldn’t give two fucks what you did or when. But if this has a shred of anything to do with the arson murders of West St. You’re in deep in shit there ain’t a person who would want to clear your name”.
“You’ve just made a lot of assumptions about places I’ve been and people I know. I’m a recluse. You should know that. I can’t even get the liquor pass my lips before I’m kicked out of every bar in city. I ain’t the person you want. I’ll tell you what. You get the fuck out of my place and leave now and not disrespect me in my own home; I may let you leave with your balls intact”.
“You know damn well I can’t do that. Tell me what I need to know then I’ll get out of your shithole. Not a foot out that door till then Ginny, no way now how”.
“You’re a stubborn piece of shit you know that? Fuck. There are two guys you got to go see, that’s all I can say. Jonny Hammer Fist and Jimmy Gouge- now get the fuck out”.
I shot out. I’d already pulled on his strings enough. I could stay, Gin never had it in him to murder in cold blood. It wasn’t coward, he had his morals, he just didn’t show them.
Those names? Why had he mentioned Jonny? There wasn’t any reason why Summer shouldn’t have said anything when I said his name to her, or was she just so dumb she didn’t even know he was part of their gang? I didn’t even know if he was, but I knew better than to put it pass him.
I was getting doubts. It was strange enough that she wanted a hit out on a guy for being too forward but now I got that sinking impression that I was tumbling down the rabbit hole.
Jonny was at his usual haunt. Sitting on a bar stool that had his arse crack imprinted on it, the whisky had just been poured. It could have been his first or his fifth. You could never tell with Jonny.
“Rex”.
“Jonny.
“Why does every case I go on end up with you and me having the same conversation?”
“It’s a pleasure to see you too, old friend”.
“You going to tell me what I need to know?”
“That depends, what do you need to know?”
I pulled out a picture of Cindy. Bruised and beaten, barely alive. The officers all thought she was dead and had already set out taking pictures for homicide when she started coughing up blood. It was a shock for the boys in blue, the homicide guys just laughed. Apparently there ain’t nothing more hilarious than a girl near death clinging on for life.
“Jesus Christ Rex, I just ate. Put that fucking picture away”.
“This picture Jonny is why I’m here and it’s why you and me need to have some words”.
“You think I did that? How sick do you think I am? Fuck you man, I don’t hit ladies, you know damn well that’s not my way”.
“Why don’t we help each other out and start talking, what do you know, who’s been boosting and who’s been keeping quiet? I’m on the edge of my line Jonny and I’ve lost patience”.
“Not my fault you fell in with the wrong crowd, Rex. Knowing your enemies is hard work, you of all men should know that”.
Jonny was smart, smarter than most men come but he always gave himself away when he got on the offensive. I was feeding him bait and he just wasn’t biting. I had one last place to go and I could feel the death on my fingertips. I didn’t know if I was ready for it, I was sure that I wasn’t. Yet if I’ve ever learnt a thing it’s that a man’s as good as his word, even if his word is covered in black sin.
Jimmy had been on my list for while, that no good bastard had been abusing woman for years but not a single one of them had the nerve to speak up against him. He was a rotten apple, the kind you think is ripe for eating, then you take a bite and all you see is its decaying core. He was a good looking man, it was easy pickings for him to pick up any woman, rape her, beat her and they wouldn’t know what’s hit them.
The one place I knew that piece of shit would be the Gilletto strip joint on Hastings. It attracted the scum of the district. No one wanted to be there unless they’d business or no soul. Jimmy was the latter.
I walked in, Jimmy was there putting in twenty dollar notes in to a girls panties who looked no older than sixteen. Her make-up couldn’t cover up her bruises, didn’t stop her from putting Jimmy’s face between her tits. He licked her nipples then pushed her to the floor- I didn’t know if it was Jimmy for sure who’s been causing so much trouble to Summer and her friends but I’d be damned if I were to let him carry on treating woman like they were pieces of meat.
I got him by the throat, pulled out a knife and pushed it against his face. I wanted to let the cold steal curdle his blood.
“You’re dead, Jimmy. You’re going to pay for every girl you’ve fucked over. Every last fucking one”.
“Fuck you, think you’re any better than me, brother? I know you. I know all about you. You want to come into my place, with my friends, act like you’re some self-righteous martyr? Don’t give me that bullshit. You’re just as bad as anyone of us here in the hole. I know what you’ve done. Fuck, you don’t even know who you are. You still don’t remember any of it do you fucker?”
“What the hell are you on about? Why don’t you speak less and taste the knife in your god damn throat”.
“You really don’t remember a thing do you? Poor fool.
“You’re dead. You’re dead now, and you’ve been dead this whole fucking time you’ve been in the hole. Gin the alcoholic, Jonny the murderer, me, Jimmy the rapist. It’s all you brother. You go around and around until you get over yourself. You’re not letting it go, and your trapped till you do. You can either kill me now or you can go round in circles again until you forgive yourself. Get over it”.
“You can talk some shit you know that Jimmy, you can talk some real shit. If this has any truth towards it, prove it, right here and now”.
“The girl Rex, you always go on about the girl. The girl in the rain, she’s your little one. You abandoned her, you abandon her every time. You’re always too busy trying to save yourself not fucking once have you tried to save her”.
“You know what I think Jimmy. I think you need to shut the fuck up and die, do you do this to everyone? Fill their mind with bullshit, trick them into thinking that they’re the bad men?”
“No Rex, that’s just you.”
“Enough. I’ve had enough”.
The blade went in quick and with every inch I saw the light in the room blacken out.
In the last moments I remembered everything as the knife buried inside me, then I woke up. The weather weren’t nice that day. I remember like it were yesterday.
So in another room with another girl, this one older, but I wouldn’t say that much older than the one on the street. Summer. I reluctantly stole a kiss. Her hair smelt caught between my lips as she pushed herself against me, I wanted to push away but I found that I couldn’t escape her embrace. She had just confessed that she loved me. Dames always love me. I don’t ask for their attention they just give it to me. What can I say I just attract the wrong kind of adoration, the kind what usually comes with a catch. There I was, getting a package for the romantic knowing the sender would soon tell me the catch.
“I need you to off Jimmy, Rex. He’s been bothering me. You’ll do it for little old me won’t you babe? I know you have it in you”.
There it was. I knew there was a catch. There’s always a catch with the slim blondes. I was hoping this time would be different. I should have known better.
“Toots, you know that I don’t ‘off’ anyone. If you need to off someone go get Jonny Hammer Fist, hell, even Kev the Killer would do it for you and it wouldn’t ask for dimes, just a ride back and maybe a suck he’ll off ten men”.
Her hands moved towards my waist. I was almost certain that she would push me onto the bed. I could do nothing but take a breath, inhaling deep as I waited for her reply.
“I’m not that kind of girl, and you know that they’ll trace it back to me if I went with anyone they know, if they find out it was me the boys will be all over the motel. You don’t want that do you Rexy baby? All those big strong boys after me and the girls? He’s been harassing me Rex, harassing Cindy, Silver and Alicia too...”
That was it. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t have the balls to tell her I wasn’t a killer, and I didn’t have the heart to turn a face that pretty down. All those girls didn’t need have so much attention, if it were up to me, which it ain’t, I’d make it so it was the girls who decided where the attention went- not the pigs who slobber and drool over any broad what has her tits on show- but that’s just me.
I went back out into that rain. The rat girl had gone and I had blood ready to be poured on my hands, not that I was worrying. I knew it was only a matter of waiting until it was on, I’d already signed the verbal contract, and it ain’t something I back out off easy. I thought what I could do. If I could get the boys to stop being jerks to the dames then maybe I don’t need to plunge in any daggers. I’d already spilt too much blood, and I’m one of the good guys.
I entered a warehouse. I walked in and the whole place gave me the chills. Felt like it was dying, like the whole place was just ready to sigh and give up on itself. If I hadn’t business I’d have left the place in its own sorrows. Perched on a overpass was Gin, giving the name for his love of gin, and his bastard actions while on it. He wasn’t a handsome man, scarred by bar fights and the countless times he’d fall over after drinking his own body weight in booze, I’d lost count how many times I had to stop myself starring. He was one ugly fuck.
“What you here for, Rex? We don’t like your type and you don’t like ours. What you come here for ya schmuck?”
“That language ain’t fitting for who you’re talking to Gin and you knows it. Why don’t you come down and we can talk like men”.
“You make it sound like we got some humanity left Rexy boy. I’m alright where I am, why don’t you go and tell me what you want. I know you ain’t that bothered about getting close”.
It wasn’t falling for it, must have caught him on a sober day- I didn’t even know he had sober days. It might just be his tolerance raising, I didn’t care enough to think about it longer than that.
“Sure, sure. Why am I getting strangers telling me that you guys have been harassing chicks? Now, Gin, I couldn’t give two fucks what you did or when. But if this has a shred of anything to do with the arson murders of West St. You’re in deep in shit there ain’t a person who would want to clear your name”.
“You’ve just made a lot of assumptions about places I’ve been and people I know. I’m a recluse. You should know that. I can’t even get the liquor pass my lips before I’m kicked out of every bar in city. I ain’t the person you want. I’ll tell you what. You get the fuck out of my place and leave now and not disrespect me in my own home; I may let you leave with your balls intact”.
“You know damn well I can’t do that. Tell me what I need to know then I’ll get out of your shithole. Not a foot out that door till then Ginny, no way now how”.
“You’re a stubborn piece of shit you know that? Fuck. There are two guys you got to go see, that’s all I can say. Jonny Hammer Fist and Jimmy Gouge- now get the fuck out”.
I shot out. I’d already pulled on his strings enough. I could stay, Gin never had it in him to murder in cold blood. It wasn’t coward, he had his morals, he just didn’t show them.
Those names? Why had he mentioned Jonny? There wasn’t any reason why Summer shouldn’t have said anything when I said his name to her, or was she just so dumb she didn’t even know he was part of their gang? I didn’t even know if he was, but I knew better than to put it pass him.
I was getting doubts. It was strange enough that she wanted a hit out on a guy for being too forward but now I got that sinking impression that I was tumbling down the rabbit hole.
Jonny was at his usual haunt. Sitting on a bar stool that had his arse crack imprinted on it, the whisky had just been poured. It could have been his first or his fifth. You could never tell with Jonny.
“Rex”.
“Jonny.
“Why does every case I go on end up with you and me having the same conversation?”
“It’s a pleasure to see you too, old friend”.
“You going to tell me what I need to know?”
“That depends, what do you need to know?”
I pulled out a picture of Cindy. Bruised and beaten, barely alive. The officers all thought she was dead and had already set out taking pictures for homicide when she started coughing up blood. It was a shock for the boys in blue, the homicide guys just laughed. Apparently there ain’t nothing more hilarious than a girl near death clinging on for life.
“Jesus Christ Rex, I just ate. Put that fucking picture away”.
“This picture Jonny is why I’m here and it’s why you and me need to have some words”.
“You think I did that? How sick do you think I am? Fuck you man, I don’t hit ladies, you know damn well that’s not my way”.
“Why don’t we help each other out and start talking, what do you know, who’s been boosting and who’s been keeping quiet? I’m on the edge of my line Jonny and I’ve lost patience”.
“Not my fault you fell in with the wrong crowd, Rex. Knowing your enemies is hard work, you of all men should know that”.
Jonny was smart, smarter than most men come but he always gave himself away when he got on the offensive. I was feeding him bait and he just wasn’t biting. I had one last place to go and I could feel the death on my fingertips. I didn’t know if I was ready for it, I was sure that I wasn’t. Yet if I’ve ever learnt a thing it’s that a man’s as good as his word, even if his word is covered in black sin.
Jimmy had been on my list for while, that no good bastard had been abusing woman for years but not a single one of them had the nerve to speak up against him. He was a rotten apple, the kind you think is ripe for eating, then you take a bite and all you see is its decaying core. He was a good looking man, it was easy pickings for him to pick up any woman, rape her, beat her and they wouldn’t know what’s hit them.
The one place I knew that piece of shit would be the Gilletto strip joint on Hastings. It attracted the scum of the district. No one wanted to be there unless they’d business or no soul. Jimmy was the latter.
I walked in, Jimmy was there putting in twenty dollar notes in to a girls panties who looked no older than sixteen. Her make-up couldn’t cover up her bruises, didn’t stop her from putting Jimmy’s face between her tits. He licked her nipples then pushed her to the floor- I didn’t know if it was Jimmy for sure who’s been causing so much trouble to Summer and her friends but I’d be damned if I were to let him carry on treating woman like they were pieces of meat.
I got him by the throat, pulled out a knife and pushed it against his face. I wanted to let the cold steal curdle his blood.
“You’re dead, Jimmy. You’re going to pay for every girl you’ve fucked over. Every last fucking one”.
“Fuck you, think you’re any better than me, brother? I know you. I know all about you. You want to come into my place, with my friends, act like you’re some self-righteous martyr? Don’t give me that bullshit. You’re just as bad as anyone of us here in the hole. I know what you’ve done. Fuck, you don’t even know who you are. You still don’t remember any of it do you fucker?”
“What the hell are you on about? Why don’t you speak less and taste the knife in your god damn throat”.
“You really don’t remember a thing do you? Poor fool.
“You’re dead. You’re dead now, and you’ve been dead this whole fucking time you’ve been in the hole. Gin the alcoholic, Jonny the murderer, me, Jimmy the rapist. It’s all you brother. You go around and around until you get over yourself. You’re not letting it go, and your trapped till you do. You can either kill me now or you can go round in circles again until you forgive yourself. Get over it”.
“You can talk some shit you know that Jimmy, you can talk some real shit. If this has any truth towards it, prove it, right here and now”.
“The girl Rex, you always go on about the girl. The girl in the rain, she’s your little one. You abandoned her, you abandon her every time. You’re always too busy trying to save yourself not fucking once have you tried to save her”.
“You know what I think Jimmy. I think you need to shut the fuck up and die, do you do this to everyone? Fill their mind with bullshit, trick them into thinking that they’re the bad men?”
“No Rex, that’s just you.”
“Enough. I’ve had enough”.
The blade went in quick and with every inch I saw the light in the room blacken out.
In the last moments I remembered everything as the knife buried inside me, then I woke up. The weather weren’t nice that day. I remember like it were yesterday.
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