The Crescent.
Crippled by life, love, and disease there was little else to do but waste away in the darkness of his room. An illuminating monitor would sometimes glisten a video game that would transcend and beat off the walls. Light blue and white off of Jeremy’s face. His eyes drooped over his cheeks, lips coated with beard hair, his thoughts on the clock hoping that this day would end so he could start another. Why no one would help end his life he was uncertain, he would think that it was because no one liked him enough to do it, which just furthered his depression. In truth Jeremy never know, the heart ache people face when they saw the man he had become. No longer was he the soldier they knew, the man who went off to laugh in the face of war was now a man living off his routine. Unable to face change, hoping that the repetition would never end. For it were he would need to face his own life, his own mortality for what it was: slowly deteriorating helplessly away.
Instead they waited and listened for what the nurses told him and his family, how he was making improvements, how he could walk again, but first he would need to want to. Yet there was never enough motivation for him to leave the sweat soaked blanket he often covered himself in.
His fondest memory was when he was younger, he was with his friend Alex in the afternoon in winter. It was cold and the breaths blew smoke with every exhale. The moon was crescent laying on its back as if it was asleep. They thought that if they could throw stones hard enough they could throw a rock over the moon. As they threw the stones they could hear them land on the grass, some on the roofs of sheds. Then one made a smash, breaking through the window of Alex’s house. His parents were furious, forcing Alex never to see Jeremy again. The next thing he knew Alex had been forced to join the Army. Jeremy missed Alex; there was no one else he knew who understood why you would through rocks through the moon. He waited till he was old enough and enlisted. It was long until they were both reunited. They were put on a routine surveillance until that landmine wiped out Alex. He ran to try and help him and the next thing Jeremy remembered was a stinging in his leg, he’s been shot through thigh. He lay defeated watching the last breath of his friend, thinking about the moon.
In his bed he wished that people would leave him be. Let him forget the horrors he’s seen. He didn’t need reminders and he definitely didn’t need any sympathy from anyone. He looked lifeless for a long time, even his helpers began to grow concerned for him.
“It’s normal you know....for people to give up, and just give in”. A nurse spoke as his Mum peeked through the crack in his bedroom door.
“Do you think he’ll ever snap out of it? I can’t bear to see him like this. It’s painful to watch I just don’t know if I can keep coping with him like this. He’s just... He’s not my Jeremy anymore”. Jeremy’s Mum bursts into tears.
“Just remind him. Remind him that it doesn’t have to be always like this. He has had a good past, he can still have a good future if you let him know he can have one. The minute you’ve given up on him is the minute he’ll well and truly give up on himself. Be strong”.
She did just that. She watched has Jeremy secluded himself more and more in his bedroom, hoping that his Mum would one day just not open his door. He hoped that it would be okay to fade out of existence and become nothing. He didn’t like who he was anymore, he wished, more than anything that he could just melt away into his bed and not return. Then the door would open again and she would be there. Saying hello, to bring a drink, she wouldn’t talk to him, she would just sit by the bed and wait for him to speak. And every time, like every other day he would shun her, isolating himself further and further.
He waited in his bed as his Mum left the house. She spoke to his grandma about how sorrowful Jeremy had gotten, so she took it upon herself to phone. Jeremy’s Grandma was stubborn, his Mum would often say she was made of stone, barely showing love to her at all growing up so it was a surprise to her as she took the phone out of her hand and phone Jeremy. She spoke to him, at first it was awkward. They had never really talked before. And Jeremy just couldn’t find the words to say. He wanted to end the conversation, to get back to his world of self-pity but she wouldn’t let him hang the phone up. As he said goodbye she waited. He just couldn’t figure out what she was waiting for, once more he said goodbye but once more there was just silence and breathing on the other end. A last time he said goodbye, and silence again. The words that came out were fluent, as if waiting to blossom but had refused to grow in the dark.
“I love you Grandma”.
“I love you too Jeremy”. She hung up the phone.
Jeremy lifted the covers of his bed and sunk in his face, he wasn’t sure who he was hiding his tears from but he knew that he didn’t anyone to see. He lifted his legs, sore and hardly used the jerked as he placed them on the ground. Limping to his Mum he hugged her and whispered an apology. He noticed the crescent moon outside the window and thought an apology to Alex. Jeremy never needed to be loved while he was recovering. He just needed to know it was okay.
He went outside with his Mum and threw rocks at the sky. The lights that hit his face that night were from streetlights and stars, mist escaped his mouth giving way to a smile that seemed lost forever.
Instead they waited and listened for what the nurses told him and his family, how he was making improvements, how he could walk again, but first he would need to want to. Yet there was never enough motivation for him to leave the sweat soaked blanket he often covered himself in.
His fondest memory was when he was younger, he was with his friend Alex in the afternoon in winter. It was cold and the breaths blew smoke with every exhale. The moon was crescent laying on its back as if it was asleep. They thought that if they could throw stones hard enough they could throw a rock over the moon. As they threw the stones they could hear them land on the grass, some on the roofs of sheds. Then one made a smash, breaking through the window of Alex’s house. His parents were furious, forcing Alex never to see Jeremy again. The next thing he knew Alex had been forced to join the Army. Jeremy missed Alex; there was no one else he knew who understood why you would through rocks through the moon. He waited till he was old enough and enlisted. It was long until they were both reunited. They were put on a routine surveillance until that landmine wiped out Alex. He ran to try and help him and the next thing Jeremy remembered was a stinging in his leg, he’s been shot through thigh. He lay defeated watching the last breath of his friend, thinking about the moon.
In his bed he wished that people would leave him be. Let him forget the horrors he’s seen. He didn’t need reminders and he definitely didn’t need any sympathy from anyone. He looked lifeless for a long time, even his helpers began to grow concerned for him.
“It’s normal you know....for people to give up, and just give in”. A nurse spoke as his Mum peeked through the crack in his bedroom door.
“Do you think he’ll ever snap out of it? I can’t bear to see him like this. It’s painful to watch I just don’t know if I can keep coping with him like this. He’s just... He’s not my Jeremy anymore”. Jeremy’s Mum bursts into tears.
“Just remind him. Remind him that it doesn’t have to be always like this. He has had a good past, he can still have a good future if you let him know he can have one. The minute you’ve given up on him is the minute he’ll well and truly give up on himself. Be strong”.
She did just that. She watched has Jeremy secluded himself more and more in his bedroom, hoping that his Mum would one day just not open his door. He hoped that it would be okay to fade out of existence and become nothing. He didn’t like who he was anymore, he wished, more than anything that he could just melt away into his bed and not return. Then the door would open again and she would be there. Saying hello, to bring a drink, she wouldn’t talk to him, she would just sit by the bed and wait for him to speak. And every time, like every other day he would shun her, isolating himself further and further.
He waited in his bed as his Mum left the house. She spoke to his grandma about how sorrowful Jeremy had gotten, so she took it upon herself to phone. Jeremy’s Grandma was stubborn, his Mum would often say she was made of stone, barely showing love to her at all growing up so it was a surprise to her as she took the phone out of her hand and phone Jeremy. She spoke to him, at first it was awkward. They had never really talked before. And Jeremy just couldn’t find the words to say. He wanted to end the conversation, to get back to his world of self-pity but she wouldn’t let him hang the phone up. As he said goodbye she waited. He just couldn’t figure out what she was waiting for, once more he said goodbye but once more there was just silence and breathing on the other end. A last time he said goodbye, and silence again. The words that came out were fluent, as if waiting to blossom but had refused to grow in the dark.
“I love you Grandma”.
“I love you too Jeremy”. She hung up the phone.
Jeremy lifted the covers of his bed and sunk in his face, he wasn’t sure who he was hiding his tears from but he knew that he didn’t anyone to see. He lifted his legs, sore and hardly used the jerked as he placed them on the ground. Limping to his Mum he hugged her and whispered an apology. He noticed the crescent moon outside the window and thought an apology to Alex. Jeremy never needed to be loved while he was recovering. He just needed to know it was okay.
He went outside with his Mum and threw rocks at the sky. The lights that hit his face that night were from streetlights and stars, mist escaped his mouth giving way to a smile that seemed lost forever.
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